On my sixth day postpartum with our third baby, I stood alone sobbing in our mudroom, feeling overwhelmed and questioning everything.
How am I going to complete a task less than a week after having a baby that I can barely do when I am 100%? If I leave the kids with my mom, can I find a way to do this and get home before the baby wakes up and needs me?
I cannot let the cows run out of water, but what if I just physically cannot do it? How is this going to work long-term? I mean my mom is here now, but what happens when she goes home?
How will this work – caring for our cattle and raising three kids?
The questions and the ugly cry were triggered by my husband informing me that I would need to haul a generator out to the cows. Their only source of water was from a tank supplied by a solar water pump. A pump that was not likely to keep up with demand on account of the overcast day that had been forecast and the pump would need to be run by a generator.
He told me all of this as he was headed out the door early that morning to help out at a neighboring ranch. He would be gone the rest the day, so this was on me.
Six days after having given birth to our baby daughter, I was charged with the responsibility of hauling a heavy, awkward piece of equipment and making sure the cows did not run out of water. Although probably not due to a rush of postpartum hormones, I knew that my husband shared some of my concerns and was feeling just as emotionally strained.
He needed me to come through that day.
I had a choice to make. I could let the postpartum hormones get the better of me and wallow indefinitely in my pool of self-doubt, or I could put on my big girl pants and find a way to get it done. In case you were wondering, I chose the latter.
After thinking it through, I devised a plan. I would take off after I fed the baby, leaving her sleeping with my mom and the big kids. Then I would take the lighter more maneuverable generator with the empty fuel tank. I’d fashion a ramp out of fiber-glass electric fence posts, slide the generator up into the back of the side-by-side, load the gas can, and be on my way.
My plan went off without a hitch. I returned home to a baby who was still asleep and two happy big kids who were thoroughly enjoying being spoiled by their grandma.
This was not something I could have done on my own. There was just no way was I going to be able to squelch the fear and doubt I was feeling all by my lonesome. I needed help.
So, I prayed. I prayed that day for guidance and strength. I prayed for my husband and our little family. And this is how I have attacked every day since.
Several hundred days have come and gone since I stood alone sobbing in the mudroom wondering and worrying about how it would all work out. I have prayed each and every one of those days for God to guide my husband and I on our journey, bringing up a family while raising beef.
And, here we are just doing it – getting it done together as a family.
Hello! I’m Terryn – the wife, mother, food safety enthusiast, Stormy Kromer fanatic who has slightly (okay, a lot) random tendencies, dabbles in photography, and shares (maybe a little too much) here at FFB.
This is awesome – I want to rock motherhood and ranching and wife-ing like you do!
Thank you – I am so flattered! And I want to rock writing and blogging like you do!
Terryn, I love your perspective. Doing it all can be overwhelming, but it’s amazing what we can do when we draw strength from the Source. Glad to have found you through HVFH. Looking forward to reading more of your work!
Thanks, Stacy! And thank you for reading – I too look forward to reading more of you work. I feel so blessed to be a part of HVFH. I just love our group of smart, talented, empowering women!
Being a mom of 3 I can understand sometimes how difficult life can be, But adding a farm to that can be more complicated. But it sounds like your doing a great job! You have to find your own schedule and what works for you. Thanks for sharing! I’ve always wanted to have a farm myself.
Thank you for reading and your kind words! There are still some days where the doubt starts to creep up and I have to remind myself to pray more and worry less. But those days are definitely getting further and fewer between.
You are an inspiration, mama. Keep sharing, please. I love it. 🙂
Aww, thank you for your kind words Suzanne! And thanks for reading! 🙂
Girl, you are amazing. Really really really you are. I don’t know how you balance a farm with a family. I can barely balance my cocker spaniel with a family. You are a rock star. I love that you prayed. I love that you knew your husband was feeling the strain too (although of course on a different level than you since you had the whole hormone thing happening and those are no joke). I love that you put on the big girl pants and did it. I’m really impressed with you and so happy to be getting to know you better! 🙂
Thank you so much, Christina! Sometimes I don’t even know how I manage to balance it all. It really is all with the help of the Man upstairs. I absolutely could not do it without Him.
I am so happy to have found you and your blog! And I too look forward to getting to know you better! 🙂
One foot in front of the other — every single day. That’s how to cowgirl up and be a great mom and caregiver. I am proud of you, Terryn. God will never give you more than you can handle — you just need to have as much faith as He does 🙂
Keep that smile — it is priceless!
Anne
Thank you, Anne, for your kind words of encouragement and your continued support!
Your a rockstar
I wouldn’t have handled that well six days post partum?
Go super mom
Aww, thanks Gretchen! It wasn’t easy, but we managed with a little help from above. 😉
You are making me look bad! LOL I would have told my husband to take a flying leap! My mom is awesome like you though, so she would be more likely than I to go.
Thank you so much for reading and for your kind words!
Hehe! Believe me, the flying leap did cross my hormonal mind. But when I had a moment to think about it, I recognized his genuine stress about the situation and I did not want to let the heifers run out of water very bad either.